The North: An Epistolary

[Copied from Robert Miranda's Journal, Sunday]

The Eisenhower Interstate Highway System requires that one mile in every five must be straight, to be usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

I was thinking about this over and over again while looking out at the pristine Californian coast on the way to Santa Barbara this morning, wondering if there would be any truth to it. I'd known about this little gem for a while already, but, like most everything else that's found on the Internet, there's no way of proving if it was truth. Didn't seem to be true, though. We have a tendency to have very weird freeways. But that's part of the state's charm. [Edit on Tuesday 23rd: Just drove through the PCH. Yeah, it's not true.]

As someone who rarely leaves the Southern California enclave made up of my hometown and the bordering cities I've grown up in and patronized the last 15 years, not 10 minutes from LA's downtown, the fact of seeing towns with less than 10,000 people was disturbing. I have been to Hawai'i twice: it was overpopulated but they were islands. To see towns devoid of people, to see paths empty of cars and any pollution that is a hallmark of Los Angeles - was interesting, and a little disturbing, as I've mentioned. Once one passes Santa Barbara, there is nothing but empty fields, the beginning of wine country.

Welcome to Central California. Population? Looks to be zero.


[Excerpt from Robert Miranda's Phonograph Diary, Monday]

Solvang was extremely interesting. Unfortunately it's really hot and that's a bit annoying. I liked the town, we've been here for, like, about fifteen hours.

There is no nightlife. At all. Not that that's a bad thing, but it's kind of depressing to walk through the streets at dusk and yet there's no one in the streets besides the entourage. There was light still, it's summer, of course, but to see everything closed? Thank goodness we found a restaurant.

It's really quaint. Really. I wouldn't live here, though. I do wish we had gone to a bakery, there's one across the street! But it doesn't look like we're going...Well most everyone's had enough. To the north!

[Excerpt from Robert Miranda's Journal, Monday]

The drive up to Cambria San Simeon was really cool. Enjoyed the view. We didn't get as much sea in the view as we did yesterday. But apparently going up to Monterey we'll get a better view.

There's golf here. We're in a lodge kind of place. Nothing much going on the rest of the day. Everyone's relaxing...I'm going to sit in the patio on the back of our room and read Monte Cristo. There's six chapters left.

[Excerpt from Robert Miranda's Journal, Tuesday]

It's really hard to write in the Hummer, but since I can't talk into my recording device to make a voice journal I'm using this. Hearst Castle was awesome. Alex Trebek was the tour guide! Well he was the voice on the tour bus. AWESOME. But the house was awesome. Very Gothic. I need to look into studying architecture when I get home. Going up to Monterey, should be there in 3 hours.



[Excerpt from Robert Miranda's Phonograph Diary, Wednesday]

It's me again. Where to begin? I was on Cannery Row just now. I can't find my journal anywhere. If I lost it, oh well. I'm going to record my terrible voice for the entire remainder of the journey. It's easier that way. [Edit on Friday: Found in my suitcase.]

Monterey highway...oh, I'm not even going to describe it. It was fun but terrifying at the same time. I don't scare easily but some of those drops...it took an hour to drive eight miles. And I thought that only happened in LA. Then again they were curves.

We drove past Carmel. Bohemian town! Ah, La Boheme...but we're in Pacific Grove so that's slightly depressing. But Monterey's not ten minutes away so we went to the Bay Aquarium (the Aquarium of the Pacific is better, in my opinion.) We went out to Cannery Row where I bought the Steinbeck book, Cannery Row. I bought Cannery Row at Cannery Row! That's awesome! We saw a Steinbeck wax museum which was interesting. And then there was more but I won't go into that.

[Excerpt from a hotel notepad. Thursday]

So far this journey has been great. I wanted to go to Frisco, though, today when we went to San Jose but could not because we have to head home because Sunday my uncle works. Went to the Winchester Mansion and had a weird tour guide. He reminded me of someone...

We toured Seaside and the rest of Monterey, namely the wharf and the marina. We saw seals. To be honest I'm not a fan of nature, one of the reasons I didn't like the beach at San Simeon. Everyone else did. I like the stuff no one else likes. No one liked the Winchester Mansion but me. That shows I'm clearly an eccentric. The Hearst Castle was another perfect example. The Roman pool. But I won't get into that.

[Transcribed from both sides of a business card. Friday]

Going home. Travelled total: 900 miles. Wish it was longer. Can't have everything. -RM
Licence Plates seen: California, Colorado, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, Ohio, Illinois, Wyoming, and Quebec. No Hawaii.


-Rob

Alphabetical Advancements and an Adventuristic Announcement

Prepare for a rather boring blogpost, but I feel like mentioning it, so what the hell. :)

I've been mostly avoiding the Interweb this week, and I'll continue to do so at least until May, because of large project I'm spearheading at school. Nothing to worry about. I'll still be on InfiniteMind, with new Trivialities and stuff I'm hoping will be at least a bit more creative than what I've done the past two months.

So why have I been busy? Besides the above project, I mean. Because...

I'm organizing my extensive book collection with a filing system! Yay!

I know, it's lame. I get it. But this is good. I don't believe I mentioned but last week I was in my garage, living there, pretty much, with the family. We were getting hardwood floors put in and all this stuff. And Thursday my bookcases just went in. So I've been deciding a new order for my books, since they're all in the garage.

It'll be mainly alphabetical, but as for my many (unfinished) notebooks and documents, I will put them in a "mind palace" sort of setting/ordering on shelves A1-A2. (Yes, I label my shelves.)

This is good because I usually put my books depending on favoritism or whatever. But I have too many favorite books. And it's confusing and most books end up on my desk than the shelves, etc.

So I'll be doing that this weekend. Tuesday I begin my new Triviality project, and then it'll continue on from there.

Just one last thing (that I think you'll all enjoy): I'm gonna write a Sherlock Holmes-esque story. Strictly for the blog. How does that sound? I was rereading all my Sherlock Holmes books and short stories over the break last week, and I am just interested in writing one. Plus watching all 6 episodes of Sherlock in a row (again) didn't help. So I'll work on that, and hopefully I get all of this done! InfiniteMind will be a very fun place to visit in the next few weeks... :)

To keep you busy, I'm titling the mystery The Adventure of the Broken Candle, and will feature a sort of Sherlock Holmes character who isn't exactly Sherlock Holmes-esque. It involves a broken candle (obviously), binary code, a journalist, an encyclopedia book, a camera obscura, and a spyglass. (This sounds so Lemony Snicket, but oh well.) It'll be in maybe 3 or 4 parts, to be released weekly. That's it.


TTN! (To the next!)
-Rob

Down the Lonely Road

Fitting title, is it not?

I'll be writing my third novel pretty soon. (Actually, third NOVELLA, to be precise.)

I've written technically 4 novellas. 2 in NaNoWriMos, 2011 and 2012, and one in the interval between both of those.

Alas, I was an idiot and didn't back up that last one. And a virus wiped it out. Sic transit gloria novelli, right? I don't have the time, energy, or devotion I once did to rewrite it.

As a result, let's say I've written 3 novels. They are:

A Forgotten Legacy (Nov. 2011) about a group of kids who find an obscure pirate's treasure and unrealistically island-hopping across the Pacific.

The Dead Ascending (Dec. 2011 to Feb. 2012) was about a young laddie in the 1700s who is apprenticed and discovers the cure to reanimation and how it ties in to the local asylum.

The Chronicler (Nov. 2012) is about an immortal group of people who are fighting this battle and whatnot. I technically haven't finished it. It's much too complicated to finish. I went in over my head. Think LOST. I had an ensemble cast of 15 immortal characters telling their life stories and wisdom. Disastrous.

So each novel has been different in its own way. I like looking between the two novels and comparing differences in my writing style. Call me narcissistic.

So this third novel will be based off the Bourne movies and Fringe. It's a dystopia. I'm not quite sure how I'll handle it. The trouble with me is that I have too many ideas and not enough time/interest to use them. In my computer hard drive I have a 20-page document titled, "Ideas". It's where I place ideas that are potential NaNos, short stories, poems, or anything else.

So that's why I quote Charlie Gordon from Flowers for Algernon when I say,

"There are so many doors to open."

Indeed, Charlie, indeed. 


I'll let you readers posted. In fact, I may post large tracts of the novel in here. But don't be surprised if I don't finish it, actually. I don't finish a lot of things anymore. But let's believe Olivia Dunham when she says,

"In the end I have to believe in hope, right?"


Do you agree? Sound off below in the comments.

To the next!
-Rob

Triviality II: Wordplay

Rob's Note: Trivialities will now be only published on Tuesdays to be alliterative, i.e. "Triviality Tuesday". That being said, this won't be a weekly thing, because it is rather hard to write one of these. I'm not exactly sure why. I guess because I'm trying to make it interesting and factual, and that isn't exactly a strong suit of mine. Might as well be writing a bloody essay. That being said, here we go!


I love wordplay. The ability to manipulate words to your advantage, to twist them your way to create something new, to synthesize a fun phrase, to pass the time -- it's brilliant. I carry my notebook everywhere and on particularly boring jaunts to the store or dentist I'll start trying to make anagrams and stuff of the like.

Wordplay is rather fun and interesting, but not necessarily sensible. :) I've learned a lot recently about the etymology of English, not least from my never-ending Latin studies and the reading of one of Bill Bryson's excellent books, The Mother Tongue. Mr. Bryson is brilliant. He's one of my favorite authors. He manages to mix wit along with amazing trivial knowledge. His books (especially I'm A Stranger Here Myself) should be required reading. But I digress.

There are 3 different areas of wordplay I just love. They're rather unknown, except for anagrams, which are rather widespread. I won't cover puns and palindromes which are rather commonplace, and useless. (Who am I to call them useless? The other ones are rather useless also.) Eh, I'll briefly cover them.

Puns are just taking a word and making them into a sentence with the topic of your word. Some of the ones I've made are:

Decimals are pointless.
Is there any whey to make cheese and milk?

Yeah, I'm not necessarily good at it.

Palindromes I hate. I'm sorry. They're just so random, and they're very uncomprehensible, and palindrome isn't even a palindrome! It should be palindromemordnilap, a true palindrome. Spelled frontwards and backwards.

Some examples from the Web involve:

Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas!
Dennis and Edna sinned.
Madam, I'm Adam.


Anagrams is where the fun begins. I love these. They may not make sense all the time, but some do. Look at these.
Robert Miranda = Bernard M. Ratio (my true alias)
circumstantial evidence = can ruin a selected victim
The Morse Code = here come dots!
orchestra = carthorse

You get me? I love these! They're so awesome and cool.


Holorimes are cooler still. Two phrases that sound exactly the same.

I love you = isle of view

And there's one phrase, mentioned by Bill Bryson, that's a couplet, that follows the scheme. It does its best to be wacky. :)

"In Ayrshire hill areas, a cruise, eh, lass?"
"Inertia, hilarious, accrues, hélas!" ~Miles Kington, 1988


Then we have rebus puzzles. These are when you place words a certain way or something. Like if you were to type 'rainbow' and color each letter a different color of the rainbow. Not much to be said here but there are two examples for you.

print

HILL
JOHN
MASS

The first one is small print, the second is John Underhill, Andover, Mass. Get it? Position of the words reveals. Bryson uses it a lot in his books to criticize the Postal Service. :)

There are also spoonerisms and malapropisms, but those are pretty basic and not much to be said there. Just substituting a word for another.


And that's your lesson for today. Now, go and out and turn the Earth into a more worldy word. :)

A Conversation Between Two Brits at Dinner

I mean no offense to any Brits when doing this, I just jotted this down in my Moleskine in a moment of boredom. Consider this a small view inside the gears and cogs of my mind. If you're especially British-literate, you might recognise some of the things Richard and Charles say. Some are quotes pulled from books.  

Richard: Oh, hello Charlie, pleasure seeing you again, I dare say.
Charles: I've told you not to call me that.
Richard: I'm sorry, Charlie, I can't hear what you're saying. Blasted hearing aid, I dare say.
Charles: Oh, Richard...eating as usual, I see.
Richard: It's a rather cheap dinner, but I must be fed if I do.
Charles: How's your son? I heard he's in deep for that murder.
Richard: I'm quite proud. You know he burned him alive after he stabbed 'im?
Charles: A chip off the old block.
Richard: Indeed, Charlie. But I learned it at Eton, I dare say. Heaven knows where he got it.
Charles: Indeed, indeed. Mind passing me the port?
Richard: You know, I'm starting to wonder something. Mind helping me take my mind off it?
Charles: Of course. What's it?
Richard: I don't remember inviting you to dinner. What are you doing here?
Charles: No idea. I just remember walking in. Good port, this.
Richard: Yes, indeed. I got it from a chap down Tot'ham Court Road. Shilling and sixpence.
Charles: So what was your problem?
Richard: Oh, that was it. Unless you'd hear about the wolves. Dreadful thieves. I've a poison over there, to go and kill them. I'll go out this evening.
Charles: How brave of you.
Richard: Indeed, I thought so too. My servants are excellent at this sort of thing.
Charles: It's rather drafty. Mind if I close the windows?
Richard: No, I'm afraid it's part of our fire-prevention system.
Charles: Oh, genius! How do you come up with these ideas?
Richard: Here, take this candle.
Charles: Won't the draft blow through and set fire?
Richard: Heaven only knows. But that architect chap -- now, what was his name? You know him.
Charles: I do?
Richard: Yes, the chap from Norfolk...you must remember him...He said he went to Mare with you...
Charles: Oh, Jackson! Yes, I remember Jackson. He was always rather bright.
Richard: He is. He has this sensitivity to overhead lights. Shines right up. Pass the port, Charlie.
Charles: He's a perfect Christmas tree, that one. So, what'll happen to your son?
Richard: The usual, I suppose. Sent'ncing, he escapes, he shows up for my money...
Charles: Well, you must pay him, I suppose.
Richard: No, but I send him a Christmas card every year. Pass the port, I said, please Charlie.
Charles: Sorry, Ricky, but this port, it's quite excellent.
Richard: Ricky. That has a nice ring to it.
Charles: Oh, Richard... *sighs*

(the candle tips over and sets the table aflame.)
Charles: Oh dear! Oh, my goodness Richard, no! We need to --
Richard: That's fine. I knew it would happen eventually. Nothing to be done.
Charles: What do you mean? Of course, we --
Richard: I'll go get another table. The castle may take some time.
Charles: You must have a cab! We must leave this place or risk getting burned.
Richard: You go, I'll stay behind. There's this wonderful painting in the gallery down the hall...
Charles: Oh, is there?
Richard: Yes, will you follow me?
Charles: Shame about the port. Good port, that - hic! - was.
Richard: Hello, what's this! (picks up bottle in the corner) AUTHENTIC PORT. Oh dear.
Charles: What's the matter?
Richard: I put the wolves' poison as a doorstop and the port on the table. Oh dear. I thought I did.
Charles: Well, I must say there is something to be said for poison. What type?
Richard: Hemlock.
Charles: Oh, like that brilliant philosopher. Oh, well done, Ricky.
Richard: Indeed.
(The two leave.)

Copyright Robert Miranda, 2013

A Writing Activity For the Ages

I've decided my New Year's Resolutions some days ahead of time. One involves my wonderful Moleskine!

For 2013, I will be keeping a fictional journal that I will write in every couple of days or so. The idea is to take a general character and setting and over the months and weeks, develop that character into something great and literary by this time next year.

I can also add problems and conflicts or resolve them. Since it's a record of a life, the trouble is keeping it too mundane. The first month or so will involve mainly exposition and then conflict, et cetera.

I'm not sure what premise to use. I have 3 really good ones at the moment.

I. A Victorian doctor discovers how to raise the dead -- but one wonders if it may be tied into his dark past as a doctor in a lunatic hospital? This story leaves plenty of room for suspense and dark comedy. I started writing something similar to this last year, but never finished. I had about 20 entries in that one.

II. A Bohemian writer in the early 1900s, in Paris, suffering from a broken heart, among other things. He finds a special message in the unlikeliest of places. I particularly like this one because it leaves room for exposition and the writer's thought process. Somewhat based off Moulin Rouge?

III. Detective in New Orleans. I haven't developed this one at all but that's the only idea, pretty much. Based off the song "Ravella" and the epic Anne Rice books.


Let's hope I can keep true to this resolution and come January 1st, begin to write this illustrious tale and make it something I'm proud of.

To the next!
-R

My Mindful Moleskine (Or, What This Blog is Really For)

Joyeux Noel!

I've gotten several of my Christmas wish list items, including that pocket watch. Tick, tick, tick.

I got a Moleskine pocket notebook. I've been looking forward to one lately, because I love collecting journals-notebooks-stationery to write on. Problem -- I never know what to write. I am worried I will destroy the page, or worse, the book.

So, that begs the question, what to do? Write stories? Not bloody likely. I edit too much and my stories have more strikethrough lines than words. A journal...I hate my own thoughts.

Then I thought, that's what I do on here anyway. Dictating posts to myself. What started as a friends project where I could communicate to people from life, since I am vehemently against Facebook -- has turned into a silent springboard for ideas. My friends took a look and went back to their blue screens with blinding white text and grey lines. Forever alone...

Now, I don't mean I'm a misanthropic emo who hates the world. I love the world. Most aspects of it. Well, half the aspects. 25.4% the aspects..? Well, the point is, I am just a reserved individual. Which is why I'm keeping this as my journal until when I see fit to close it.

In the occasion someone from the real world adventurously stumbles upon this barren wasteland of text, poetry, ideas, jumbled mishmash of thought -- Bonjour. Now please be silent while I sing "The Transformation Into Marlene Dietrich" in my head.


There.

And that is why this blog is so awesome.

-R

Fog, Fogg, Fog...

It's winter here in SoCal. We don't get snow, or hail, nay -- we get fog. And lots of it.

So, obviously, the best thing to so since no one in their right mind would go outside (unless, of course, it was snowing or raining candy or something like that) is to read. So that's what I've been doing.

I like December, but especially those foggy-rainy days like this morning because it gives me a chance to sit in bed, type this, and read. In the past hour I've read snippets from Around the World in 80 Days and The Great Gatsby. I've read both of these excellent books, and so should you, if you're reading this.

The Great Gatsby is particularly interesting. All about unattainable love, and things of that sort. Fascinating especially is the epigraph, because it was written by Fitzgerald himself, which is somewhat odd:

Then wear the Gold Hat, if that will move her-
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too.
Till she cry - "Lover, Gold Hatted, my high bouncing lover!
I must have you!"

That is excellent courting advice. :P If anyone comes up to me asking advice on how to get a date (which I've had to suffer through three times -- ah, the pains of being a well-known smart aleck) then, I'm giving that absurdly hilarious advice.

In other news, I shall be performing in the school choir tomorrow. I'll be reciting a poem I wrote for the Holiday season. I'm not scared. Why should I be? I love the stage. :)
But the timer rings, the car awaits. I must now bid adieu.

To the next! -Rob

NaNoWriMo! Tips and Tricks

Ok, so I am in NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. It's so much fun. :)

I'm writing about an immortal group of people who are fighting this war, but are losing, and choose to do something quite unexpected.

My word count is 42,000. I'm currently hovering around the 36,500 word mark...not bad. So. I know many of my friends who are doing NaNo are stuck. So, I'm deciding to list some of my personal tips. Believe me, there is nothing worse than staring at a blank sheet of paper/Word doc/whatever thinking of what to do next.

Here's what I do:

I. Listen to music! Choose something uplifting. I really recommend listening to classical. You're thinking, "Oh, God, no, not classical!" But classical can be really inspiring. I've listened to "The Thieving Magpie", which is REALLY light and airy. Heck, it inspired me to write a new chapter and finish it in less than an hour!

II. Visualize you holding a finished novel in your hands with your name on the cover. Since I started writing, I have always visualized one thing: holding a book with my name on the cover. It's a rather good inspirer. NaNo is doing their annual publishing collaboration with CreateSpace -- I was a fool not to take it last year, but I just might this year. I find that that little mental image helps unjam the dam of tangled words. :)

III. Include random scenes. I love to be classy. I have my characters randomly toasting each other halfway through dramatic scenes -- or awesome chase sequences. Take ten minutes, isolated from the rest of the world. Just write a random scene with a character or two. Don't, don't, don't worry! Just let the words flow. You can figure out how to add it later.

IV. If not enough words your problem? Never fear. I have a habit of "Victorian-izing" my sentences. If you've read Charles Dickens or George Eliot, you know what I mean. Regular Sentence: The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. My Sentence: As the indolent hound looked on, the rapid fox performed a surprising leap over him -- surprising, considering the fox's caliber and swiftness, which were usually to be condemned. Almost twenty words extra right there! :)


So, yeah. Don't do it too much, though. You might bore yourself and then where would you be? But try it a bit. You may be surprised.
I also have some interviews in my story. I love slipping in an "erm", "er", "sorry", and the ubiquitious "um, so..." Works every time.

I hope this helps you! There are only 6 days left for NaNo to end. Try to make the most of it.

-Rob